What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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