I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize