Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
