Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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