It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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