i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
