Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
