Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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