after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
