And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize