So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
