He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
