he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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