The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
