So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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