I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
