Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
