I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
