me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
