my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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