It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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