I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
