i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
