Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize