Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
