well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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