Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
