Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
