Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
