apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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