you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize