I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
