Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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