he told me I talked like a deaf person
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize