Someone shit on the floor
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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