He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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