I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
