Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
