I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize