yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize