he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
