I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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