Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize