he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
