first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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