Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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