Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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