so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
