why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
