whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
