btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
