question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
