the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
