You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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