my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
