My friends, they love my intelligence
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
