Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
