Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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