No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
