some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
