It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
