I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
