he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
