I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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